14

Fourteen years ago

It started out as a fairly normal day. Linda and I dropped by our local Kaiser Permanente office so I could get a flu shot and she decided to get a quick pregnancy checkup while we were there. The word from her checkup, “Go home, pack up your stuff and head to the hospital, you’re in the early stages of labor and are going to have a baby today.”

So we promptly forgot a bunch of the advice we “learned” at the multiple birthing classes we had attended, headed home, grabbed some stuff and then right to the hospital we went. We had learned that we should eat a good meal before we go because the hospital won’t feed the mom, and the dad, well, you’re on your own. We didn’t even grab a snack. Linda got on the phone with her mom who was living in the Bay Area at the time and had an open ticket waiting to be used. Then we called a few others, my parents, our friend John and others. We got John and Sandy hooked up and “Uncle John” was a kind soul and picked her up at the airport and brought her to the hospital to share the experience with us. Meanwhile, Linda and I were walking, and walking, and walking. The 8 or 10 medical students each verified she wasn’t progressing very quickly, but I tell you what; it felt good to finally have something to do when Linda had had enough of the student prodding. I was gentle but firm, really I was J.

We decided to walk outside since her water hadn’t broken and we were bored of the hallways, so we wandered until we saw a drug deal going down and god only knows what else, the neighborhood was not the greatest, at which time we decided that the halls of Saint Anthony’s were just fine and headed back in.

Fast forward many hours and frustrations. Linda finally got her epidural (natural? my ass! medications were invented for a reason, I could have used some of those myself). We played music, we napped, we fed Linda ice chips (we really should have eaten something) and finally, after what felt like 60 hours since the Kaiser office, we finally got to push. I say we, but if you look up the word “useless” in the dictionary, it shows a picture of a father during childbirth. I’m pretty sure I had a hangnail that hurt like the dickens, but damn if I was going to say anything out loud. The whole “breathe” and “hoo hoo hoo haa” crap, just something to keep the father occupied and to feel like he is participating. But, oh the rush of emotions, to be standing there, light headed from breathing for her, fingers crushed from the vise-like grip of death, looking into the eyes of the devil herself, trying to get her to “focus honey, you can do it” and hearing the voice from within belching “shut the #%$& up and get that out of my face! If you think you’re ever going to touch me again buster…” All this after her lower body was completely dead from a slightly misplaced epidural.

Later, tears of joy ran down my face as I held my son for the first time. I told him at that time, with all the sincerity I could muster, “Daniel, your future is yet to be written and you can be anything you want to be in life, as long as I get to be your caddy.” Alas, golf is not Daniel’s forte, but guess what, I still get to be his caddy. I get to walk with him through the golf course of life as he grows into a man, as he succeeds and fails and we talk about what shot to take next, should he play the old reliable and lay up or is he in a place to take a chance and go for the green in 2. As his caddy, I get to make suggestions, I get to encourage and provide advice, but I don’t get to make the decision and I don’t get to take the shot for him. Succeed or fail, it’s his shot to take and my role to help where I can and get him ready for the next shot. I love you Daniel. Here’s to taking chances, playing it safe, and living life to its fullest. Happy Birthday!

Dad.

New Terrorist Tactics?

Colorado has been hit with a new terrorist tactic. They seem to be feeding the deer something different than normal and sending them out to the highways to explode on impact. One car at a time, they are taking us out. Time to extend hunting season? See the story HERE.

Small Pair

Playing Texas Hold-em with friends, holding a small pair will keep you in the game, at least through the flop. Then, depending on the betting and reactions from there, you may choose to continue, fold or raise big. I’ve been holding a pair of 4’s for about 6 months and have chosen to continue through the flop and am raising big on the turn. My good friend J Cas has been running with suited connectors for about a year now and chose throughout the year to continue and to raise big. I have never known him to fold, under any circumstances. This weekend he upgrades to a small pair (4’s), I expect to see him stay the course and raise big whenever appropriate, or when he wants to drive out the competition. We’ve been friends since before either of us held a blackjack and there is rarely a time when we don’t enjoy each other’s company. Life has added new pressures, commitments, etc. so we don’t get to spend nearly as much time together lately as we have in the past, but we’ve gone through this type of phase before and have always found a way back together again. It’s been a GREAT ride with you my friend and brother and we’re not even half way there yet. Have a happy birthday, and whatever you do, keep playing the cards, a pair of 4’s is not as so bad a hand at all. Oh yeah, that other small pair, I’m sure Ginger will lend them back to you for your birthday.

John's Redemption

A while back, I don't know how long ago but he still gets grief from me, my good friend John made one of his more memorable verbal blunders. The term he used was "hand glove" go ahead and laugh, I have a bunch of times. What other appendage do you wear a glove on John? Those balloons are not really called one finger gloves by anyone I know. Well, today I have found redemption for my friend and find the need to apologize for all of my laughter and jest. Alas, I have run across a new product (click HERE for their website). Yep, you guessed it, someone has made a foot glove, I kid you not. So here's to you John and your forward thinking. Next time, break out the patent application dude and make bank on it.

Say it isn't so

During a short break at work today I came across THIS article. I'm not sure I buy the theory that Warp Speed would kill, especially if it is based on Star Trek. After all, if I remember correctly (I could be wrong), the theory of the warp drive is such that the drive creates a warp bubble that surrounds the ship, thereby protecting the crew from harm as well as having to deal with Einstein's pesky theory of "gravitational time dilation" which has been proven by tests, as have many of his "general relativity" theories (and other theories as well).

Yeah, I know, the links are just to Wikipedia pages, but they should give the general reader some reference without going into the math, quantum mechanics, space time, or deal with Schrodinger and his cat. Thank goodness we don't need Heisenberg for this one.

Tattoo

If you're gon'na get a tattoo, there are a few things you should check before ink touches skin. Are the needles clean and sanitary? Look at some of the artist's work to verify quality. But, most importantly, make sure the artist can spell, even if you can't. See what I mean HERE. (warning, hilarity to follow).